- Can you tell us your name and the title of the book you live in?
(Muttering to himself: I can't
believe Kent talked me into this...) I'm Garn, and I'm a dwarf and one of the
conspirators in the DragonEye, PI, novel, Magic,
Mensa and Mayhem.
- Describe to our readers what your role in the book is.
I think I'll pass actually. Vern
has told me about your Mundane concept of "spoilers" and has told me
what he'll do to me if I provide any.
- How did you convince your author to put you in this book? For example, did you visit a dream or make yourself known some other way?
I don't really know what you mean
by that. I didn't ask to be put in this book. I'd rather have not been
mentioned at all, but I do have a key role in the whole case, so she couldn't
have left me out, I suppose.
- Would you tell us about one of your favorite friends from this book?
I guess that would be Kent, my
traveling companion for the convention. We'd actually just met before the trip.
Don’t tell him, but at first, I was kind of excited to have him for a roommate.
I'd heard a lot about his performance as Graf Goldhacker in The Day the Mine Ran Dry. Dwarf Entertainer gave it three
diamonds. Anyway, he turned out to be quite shale--er, Mundanes would say,
"a flake"? Thought he could
dress like that Gimli character and roam the streets of BillyBeaver's
Fantasyland spouting off lines get himself "discovered."
Still, got a heart of gold, he
does. And he did eventually break into Mundane television. He was supposed to
get a role on Atlantis until they
canceled the show. Now he's got a role as the assassin in the movie Live and Let Fly.
- Do you plan on appearing in another book or are you happy to be where you are?
I think I'm done with adventuring,
intrigue and getting on Vern's bad side. I've got my Faeriemet mine here in
Faerie Australia and I'm happy.
- What would you like our readers to know about you?
Only that I'm sorry the Mundane
world got involved in what should have been Faerie scheming. It was a cultural
misunderstanding, really.
- Did you learn anything during your adventure in this book?
(Growling) My ancestors were right:
never trust an Elf.
- Can you tell us what you think is the most exciting thing that happened to you in your book?
As in fear-for-my-life exciting?
Probably the trip to Florida. On that abomination of a transport.
Airships! Dwarves were meant to be
underground, not in the air!
- Is there anything in your story you wish you had not done? Why?
I should have been more casual
about my pickax. I realize now my possessiveness drew attention to it.
- What was your main motivation?
What every dwarf's motivation
should be: a mine to call his own.
- Introduce us to your main adversary?
Galendor. Uppity, politicizing,
better-than-Elvish High Elf. If he hadn't set those--sorry. Spoilers.
- Is there anything you would like to have done but your author stopped you?
I don't understand the question.
She wasn't there. She just wrote down the story as Vern told it. Now what I would have liked to have done, but
Vern stopped me, was take my pickax to Galendor's family jewels.
- Here’s your chance to speak your mind. What do you want to tell everybody?
If yer looking for the best
Faeriemet in two universes, you'll find it at Garn's of the Outback. High
quality, reasonable rates.
Oh, and I don't have any hard
feelings toward Vern or Grace. They were just doing their jobs--and they made
Gozon fulfill his part of the agreement and give me the mine he promised. Spent
two days of talking him into it, too. That's actually pretty fast for a High
Elf, amazingly fast considering it was Gozon.
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