Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What the characters were doing between Magic, Mensa and Mayhem and Live and Let Fly

VERN:  We came home from Florida to discover the roof had a leak.

SISTER GRACE:  Aye, that bad, but more importantly, we spent the next several months working with the US government and the Elvish tribes over the problem with scanatine-flavored drinks.

VERN:  Could have done it in two weeks if we'd just let the elves drink some.

Grace:  Vern!

VERN:  Just saying there are times when a hyped-up brain and an accelerated time sense could come in handy.  We spent a lot of time doing work we didn't get paid for--work that could have fixed the hole in the roof.  We found all kinds of drips after that hailstorm in September…

HEATHER HASKEL (aka RHODA DAKOTA):  September!  That's when I got my first letter from Charlie.  Why did it take you so long to write, honey-bunchkins?

CHARLIE WILMOT:  My love, a big music star like you, interested in a herald from a small duchy?  It was too much to hope for.  If the duchess hadn't pushed me, I hate to think--

HEATHER:  We might never have met.  I'm going to thank her again.

VERN:  …and all my bedding got soaked.  Took forever to dry.  Some of it got ruined…

SISTER GRACE:  It was a difficult winter, but at least it kept the Despredatores at home.  Things were rather peaceful.

VERN:  Which is bad for business.  We didn't get the loan for the roof.

HEATHER:  Stan, what about you?

RAKNESS, STAN RAKNESS:  Sorry.  Classified.

SISTER GRACE:  The parish came and helped us fix it.  It was a wonderful Christmas present.

VERN:  Yeah--out in 30-degree weather, breathing fire on the roof like some kind of draconian welding torch.  Did I mention that I'm a warm-climate dragon?  Bad enough we had to deal with the snow--

CHARLIE:  And you wrote that song for me at Christmas--and it made #1.  I was in heaven for a week because you'd said you loved me.

HEATHER: (giggle) It was the only way I could; my parents were so worried about us, even if we hadn't met yet.  But that Valentine's Day--

CHARLIE:  Best day of my life.

SISTER GRACE:  And the Christian Brothers bought that lot in Territory.  It'll be good to have a Catholic school there.  Especially with that Real Humans gang in town now.  (Sigh)  They're going to be trouble, 'tis a fact.

RAKNESS, STAN RAKNESS:  In fact, I can neither confirm nor deny I was in the country…

VERN:  Come March, that windstorm blew off the repairs and I had to go flying after it.

HEATHER:  That's when I signed the contract for Live and Let Fly.  I was so excited, but the best part was being in Los Lagos, nearer my Charlie.  Then that paparazzi caught us kissing and we went public with our courtship!

CHARLIE:  One moment of indiscretion.  I don't regret it at all.

SISTER GRACE:  I think Gloria was asking about what cases we handled over the past couple of years.

RAKNESS, STAN RAKNESS:  Sorry.  If I told you, I'd have to kill you.  National security, you know.

VERN:  What did we do?  I just remember battling the drips.  Lots of drips.  

SISTER GRACE:  Yes, the roof had deteriorated.

VERN:  Yeah, the drips in the roof, too.  That was one good thing that came out of Live and Let Fly.  We got a new roof.  I love that roof.

SISTER GRACE:  Aye, me, too.

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