What I did in school

One of the kids from Church asked me to go to show-and-tell this week. 

The teacher had a fire extinguisher handy.  Seriously?  I may be from the Middle East, but I have more self-control than that.  Anyway, the kids were sufficiently impressed and I used my charm on Mrs. Willoughby, so it turned out all right.  The kids asked the usual second grade level of questions--no Mensans there*--and then I invited them to pet me.

That's why I bother with these things, you know.  Who needs a masseuse when you can have 30 little kids give you a good scale rub?  and the little hands are perfect for scratching behind my cheek crests.  No, I do not thump my leg like a dog.  I can, however, be coaxed into a purr. It always ends too soon, but I go home happy and relaxed.

Stan calls me a sensualist.  I just tell him it's a dragon thing.  He wouldn't understand.

*In Magic, Mensa and Mayhem, Vern does show-and tell for the kids of Mensans.  That's where he learned his tail spikes are called thagomizer.