One of the kids from Church asked me to go to show-and-tell this week.
The teacher had a fire extinguisher handy. Seriously? I may be from the Middle East, but I have more self-control than that. Anyway, the kids were sufficiently impressed and I used my charm on Mrs. Willoughby, so it turned out all right. The kids asked the usual second grade level of questions--no Mensans there*--and then I invited them to pet me.
That's why I bother with these things, you know. Who needs a masseuse when you can have 30 little kids give you a good scale rub? and the little hands are perfect for scratching behind my cheek crests. No, I do not thump my leg like a dog. I can, however, be coaxed into a purr. It always ends too soon, but I go home happy and relaxed.
Stan calls me a sensualist. I just tell him it's a dragon thing. He wouldn't understand.
*In Magic, Mensa and Mayhem, Vern does show-and tell for the kids of Mensans. That's where he learned his tail spikes are called thagomizer.