Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Vern Takes on a Jehovah Witness

This happened to me in my second year in the Mundane world, when I was still getting annoying comments like, "Are you sure that...creature...didn't eat my cat?" and parents who either protected their daughters from me, or just watched closely to see if I was interested.  Folks didn't know me well, and there were times I used that to my advantage.

..and it wasn't even Halloween

I was at my friend Rosa's house.  Rosa and her family were some of my first friends.  They believed Father when he said I wasn't the spawn of the devil, and I helped them out with a few things.  And Rosa fed me chili.  Before I got my fire back, it was as close to firebreathing as I could get.

One afternoon as the chili pot was going and I was again explaining to the toddler that I am not a scaled pony for her pleasure, the doorbell rang. JJ, the eldest peeked out the window.

"Mami!" JJ called, "It's the Jethova witnesses."

If there's anything worse than a telemarketer interrupting dinner, it's a Jehovah Witness interrupting the cooking--especially when it's my dinner that's cooking.  I told Rosa to let me handle it, pulled myself to full height at the door and let JJ open it.

They didn't even let the door open before they started their spiel.  "My friend, have you heard the Good--erk!"

Yeah, crimson and black scaled, fangs, 20-foot wing span.  So what if I was a fourth of my regular size?  I still had it.

"Oh, look.  Delivery."  I added just a hint of menace to go with the drool.  I live for these moments, I really do.

They were out of the yard and down the block before their Watchtower hit the porch.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Vern takes some personality tests

One of the Costa kids is doing a project and asked a bunch of us to take some personality tests to see how close the computer comes to the real image. In particular, Matthew has asked some of us Faerie. Here's my results from The World's Shortest Personality Quiz:
Your Personality Profile

You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.

You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!
"Sexy," huh? Interesting result for an androgynous creature. My temperament: (Note that I did not answer one of the questions.)
You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.
Myers-Briggs has me here:
You Are An INTP

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic

Of course, if this were a short answer test, here's what I'd say:
  1. You tend to:
    • Act first - then think about what you did
    • Think first and then act
    • I think so fast, there's not much difference.
  2. It's Friday night and your friend just canceled on you. You:
    • Spend some quiet time alone instead
    • Find new friends to hang out with
  3. You are more likely to say that:
    • Other people motivate and inspire you
    • You tend to find your motivation an inspiration from within
    • I AM inspiration.
  1. You prefer to interact:
    • In all sorts of social situations
    • In one-on-one situations
    • Doesn't matter as long as we all realize who's on top of the food chain here.
  2. You are:
    • Hard to read
    • Easy to get to know
    • Beyond human understanding, really, but I'll come down to your level.
  3. You have:
    • A ton of friends, aquaintances, and people you know
    • A few people who are very dear to you
  4. What would make you more nervous?
    • A one on one job interview
    • A group job interview
    • I don't get nervous.
  5. You ideal Saturday night is:
    • Stimulating
    • Peaceful--"Stimulating" usually means trouble and annoyance, in my experience
  6. Your friend is annoying you. You:
    • Let them know--sometimes with my teeth.
    • Keep it to yourself
  7. At a party you:
    • Approach a group of strangers
    • Wait to be approached
    • Depends on my mission.  Ideally, you should come to me; but human fear necessitates my approaching you
  8. You think more about:
    • The present
    • The future
    • What I have to do in the present to work off the geas of St. George so I can enjoy my future.
  9. When faced with a problem, what do you use to solve it?
    • Creativity and new ideas
    • Common sense and a step by step approach
    • Dragon intelligence, which is common to my kind but creative to yours.
  10. You are more likely to remember:
    • Someone's face
    • Someone's name
    • Someone's smell.
  11. You would describe your style as:
    • Matter of fact
    • Enthusiastic
  12. When deciding on something important, you:
    • Look at every fact possible
    • Go with your gut
    • I'm a dragon--I already have the wisdom of the ages, knowedge of eternity. I already know the facts.
  13. You rather work on something that is:
    • Familiar and tested
    • Novel and new--when you're immortal, you value novelty
  14. The best way to get something done is through:
    • Inspiration
    • Hard work
    • Both. Stupid question
  15. You would rather study
    • How something is put together
    • A new philosophy or religion
    • Anything.
  16. When explaining something difficult to understand, you:
    • Give as many details as possible
    • Use metaphors and analogies
    • Depends on the person and the species.
  17. Driving home from work or school, you:
    • Vary your route, just for fun
    • Almost always take the same route
    • Can you imagine me driving?
  18. Your decisions are more likely to be rooted in:
    • Emotions and feelings
    • Facts and logic
    • What's in it for me.
  19. You would rather be:
    • A lawyer
    • A teacher
    • A predator
  20. When making a decision in a group, you:
    • Are able to reach a decision without consulting others--like I need to consult others
    • Prefer to decide on something everyone is comfortable with
  21. You think conflict is:
    • Hard for you to deal with
    • A normal part of relationships
    • What happens in the moments before I eat the person annoying me
  22. In an argument, someone can win you over if they present their case:
    • Reasonably
    • Sincerely
  23. When it comes to people's birthdays, you:
    • Always forget them
    • Remember and celebrate them
    • Wonder what the big deal is
  24. You tend to:
    • Hold people to high standards
    • Give people the benefit of the doubt
    • Wonder how they taste
  25. You would rather be:
    • Accomplished
    • Appreciated
    • Left alone
  26. Two of your close friends are fighting. You would approach each of them:
    • Truthfully
    • Diplomatically
  27. What do you value more?
    • Logic, justice and fairness
    • Empathy, harmony and forgiving
  28. You have a big trip coming up. You:
    • Take several days to prepare and pack
    • Do everything at the last minute
    • Like I need to pack
  29. You are the type of person who:
    • Has a gazillion windows open on your computer
    • Tends to focus on one task at a time
    • Since the dragon brain is wired differently, I can do both.
  30. You've got a big project for work coming up. You:
    • Get it done whenever you feel like it
    • Get it done as soon as possible--or people die
  31. You:
    • Think every decision out carefully
    • Make decisions on the fly--because I can
  32. Do you prefer:
    • Rules and structure
    • Breaking all the rules
    • Rules?  Dragon's don't need no stinkin' rules.
  33. If someone's in charge:
    • Whatever. You don't care.--unless they have something I want
    • You tend to listen to them.
  34. When it comes down to it, life is:
    • Very complicated
    • Very simple
  35. You tend to:
    • Adapt well to change
    • Resist change
    • Am stuck with change thanks to St. George
  36. Your desk is:
    • A total mess
    • Organized
    • Not for you to judge.
  37. In your opinion, the best parties and dates are:
    • Spontaneous
    • Planned
    • Done by others

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Next DragonEye, PI Magazine is out!

In this issue:

*  An Interview with a Dragon
*  The Next Chapter of Magic, Mensa, and Mayhem Continues
* A DragonEye, PI novel and a new story!

*  Faerie Facts:  Interdimnet

Click here to see it.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Scavenger Hunt

Last contest of the Live and Let Fly Book Tour!  This one is for the big prize--two free books, and a bunch of other fun stuff.  You'll need to have read the book or check out these fun stops on the Live and Let Fly book tour!  Fill out the survey between now and may 25th!

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.